Being an American Artist in England: What I Miss, What I Gained
I never planned to become "an American artist in England." I planned to be a corporate community relations executive. I planned to be a life coach. I planned to be a wife and a mother. I did not, however, plan on moving to England. And I certainly NEVER planned on becoming a professional artist. If you knew me back in the day, are are surprised to see me showcasing my paintings, you are probably as surprised as I am about this turn of events.
In 2022, my husband's job in film technology relocated us from Southern California to Bath, England. Somewhere in the middle of building a new life here, I started painting everyday. I had always painted here and there, but not daily. That daily practice turned into a body of work. Next, people started asking if they could buy my paintings or if I had prints available for purchase. Suddenly, I was earning money for my art. Like I said, I didn't see this coming.
What I Miss
I was born in southern California and lived there most of my life. Brits and Americans ask the same questions. "Do you like it?" Or, "What do you miss the most?" First of all, there is no perfect place. Each has good things and not so great things. There are the obvious things, like the weather, family and friends. I'll say it is also the small things that I never imagined missing. The time of day it gets dark in California. The hummingbirds. The smell of star jasmine that is everywhere in LA in the summer. I miss the southern California beaches, the Mexican food, and the people that I have known my whole life. Yes, I miss the weather, and the ability to make plans with confidence that it likely won't rain.
There is a bigger thing, which is harder to name. It's a feeling, a vibe, probably best described as a kind of ease that comes from being somewhere your whole nervous system already understands. In California I never have to think about which side of the stairs to walk down, or to decode lingo and unfamiliar social customs, or explain where I'm from and why I'm here every time I speak. Living abroad taxes your nervous system all day, every day. You get used to it, kind of. You don't stop noticing it.
What I Gained
Leaving California didn't erase it from who I am. I will always be a California girl. However, there is a freedom to reinvent yourself when you move away from everyone that you ever known and start fresh. I wasn't looking for that when we came here. I already had a full life that I genuinely loved. The unexpected gift in all of this was the ability to allow myself to just step into being an artist.
This probably wouldn't have happened if we had stayed in California. I would have been too busy with my social life, and the identity I already had would have likely made me feel too restricted. There is an 8 hour time difference between California and England that sometimes feels like being on another planet. It provides silence and space. Yes, there are new friends, but it takes time to build close connections. Once the children are at school, the husband is at work the chores are done, and its raining (of course) there was space, stillness and none of the pressure to perform or be the person I always was. To ask, who are you now? In that space, I found my way back to the little girl I used to be before life took me on a detour. A painter.
The Both / And
Where's home? I'm not sure. I'm not trying to be more English, or to stay purely Californian. I'm just a bit of both now. It feels great to fly into California. It feels wonderful to come back to our little village in the English Countryside. I love both and feel blessed that I can enjoy the best of both worlds. And if you're curious what that duality looks like in my art, browse my original paintings, you may see it there.